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On the outside looking in December 3, 2009

Posted by jassnight in Health, Holiday, Job Search, Life, Love.
Tags: , , , ,

He was faced with death at an impressionable age.   His sister committed suicide last year. He found her body covered in blood as it drained out of her wrists. It became difficult to follow the mainstream after that. With no guidance or grounding to morn in a healthy way, drugs and alcohol are used to temper the agony.  Rehab and counseling can only do so much.

She is on her own now. Her husband of 20 years died last year. His pension died with him and now it is only social security. The mortgage is due. The heat is off. The electricity is next. She misses him terribly.

She is a single mom with three beautiful children. Between caring for her children and working two jobs back to back (overlapping three days with two shifts,) she is lucky to have one Friday night every two weeks to call her own.  She worries endlessly about having the resources to keep her family fed, clothed, dry and warm. She calls it a good day when her car is still in the driveway and has not been repossessed. She is dealing with a relentless ex-husband who is constantly dragging her into court to shirk his responsibilities to his children and to generally make her life miserable because he can afford to and she can’t.  She has dealt with two bouts of cancer and fears every upcoming appointment and what it may find. She is tired, stressed, overworked and living day to day, dollar to dollar.

He is dependent on drugs to be able to cope with life. His fears and anxieties are about life in general. He can no longer work. He lives on social security alone. His loving parents are long gone, the rest of his family has abandoned him. He lives in an upstairs apartment but incapable of caring for his immediate space. He sleeps most of the time. He has lost faith in love, connection, and life. He is trapped in an internal struggle with his own soul.

She is in a loveless marriage. With three young children there is nowhere else to be. She has no means to support herself and her children without him. He has her trapped and he knows it. There is verbal and sexual abuse. There is an allowance issued. The odometer is checked every week. The phone bill is monitored. She is a prisoner only for her children.

She has lost family and friends. It seems like everything she loves dies. She lives in the pain that it may be her fault. She is afraid to love again. She is lonely. She is alone.

He was laid off last year. Unemployment is ending soon and there are no opportunities in sight. He is too old and too broke to go back to school to learn new skills. His children have families of their own and are having problems themselves. The bills are piling up. He no longer owns a car. He is about to lose his home.

Merry Christmas



1. mamamaureen - December 13, 2009

from the inside:
look, really look at me! don’t just tell me to get motivated and change my life! Listen to me, HEAR ME! Please! Help me to find others like me, help me to find those who will truly help me, not just refer me to someone else. Teach me how to get out, get better, change my life. Don’t judge, we are everyone, everywhere. We could be you, maybe not now, but later.

I will be able to buy some christmas for my kids. not a lot, but they’ll be happy. they always are. But I can buy some. I have a house (they wouldn’t evict us for at least another month or so.) I have decorations and a tree, carefully, lovingly packed away every year. I can get some things for christmas, so I can’t complain and say I need help. There are those out there who have no home, no car, no $230 a week to make do. No tree or decorations, no stuff because no home.

I would give what I can, not money, but old clothes and toys, to those who have less. Because I have had less. I’ve had more, and it sure as shit ain’t this year. But I’m ok. and I know. so,
Merry Christmas

2. Diane Ryan - December 15, 2009

For all of us no matter what state we find ourselves in, Christmas and every day should be about looking beyond our circumstances to the Lord who is the giver of life and all good gifts. He supplies our needs according to his riches in glory through Christ Jesus our Lord.

The greatest gift God ever gave us was His son Jesus who humbled himself to become man. Jesus changes our hearts. He teaches us what is important in life, helps us to become who God wants us to be, and helps guide and strengthen us through His Holy Spirit every moment while we are living here on earth. We are given the free gift of faith and grace so that we may be saved.

God gives us a hope and a future through Jesus. None of us deserved such a sacrificial gift, but God loved us so much that even though we were sinners, He was willing to give His son to die for each one of us so that we may be forgiven and saved. Through that forgiveness we are set free from the law of sin and death and able to live eternally with Him in heaven.

Jesus who is fully man and fully God was obedient to His Father, even to death on the cross for each one of us. He loves us and forgives us no matter what circumstance we are in or what we have done if we just pray to Him and ask. He says “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest for your souls.”

The secular world has made Christmas become more about materialism than about our remembrance of the birth of Jesus our greatest gift. True Christmas is in people’s hearts. It’s in people reaching out to each other in charity, lending a listening ear, being there for a shoulder to cry on, it’s in people caring, helping and serving one another, it’s in family loving and supporting each other in good times and bad…It’s not about the senseless materialism that it has become.

Look at the lowly situation of Mary and Joseph…and the humble birth and life of Jesus…and yet how His life and teachings have made such an impact on the world and so many people’s lives. Jesus is our hope. As the words of a popular Christian song go, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future and life is worth the living just because He lives.” And that is the Merry in Christmas.

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