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Dreams of Sex, the Past, and Bob Barker January 30, 2010

Posted by jassnight in Change, inspiration, Sex.
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2 comments

“Come on down! The price is right!”  What?  Me? The dream was so vivid I could feel the heat of the studio lights. There I was, on the Price is Right Show. Bob Barker holding the microphone in my face and asking me, “…and what do you bid Steve?”

What am I bidding on Bob?

Wait! … where are my clothes?

It woke me up instantly. That is the only way I can remember my dreams; when they are so intense I am thrust into consciousness with the dream scenario still embedded in my thoughts. There I was in bed, still hearing the theme music and wondering, what was that all about?

Some dreams are so bizarre (thanks Bob Barker) and make no sense to us. Others have a clear connection to what is happening in our lives at the moment. Some are from our past. Some are of our future. Whatever and whenever they are, we want so much for them to have meaning. We want our dreams to guide us to our future or give us understanding of our past. We want our dreams to give us the answers to our current situations.

According to Dr. Michael Breus, leading sleep expert, there are reoccurring dreams that we all experience that may have a common meaning. These Dreamscapes include; falling, being chased, visiting or seeing someone you knew who is now deceased, being back in school or college, or finding yourself naked. In general many of these dream scenarios indicate some current stress happening in your life.  However, it is important to understand that the same common dream can be interpreted differently between individuals. For example, let’s take the dream about being in high school. This is a reoccurring dream I have had for close to 25 years now. My dream focuses on the restraints of the high school environment; hall passes, bells, teacher authority, etc… I hated my years in high school and this dream reflects the restrictions I felt while attending. It may even extend to the limitations I felt growing up with an over-protective mother and under-loving stepfather. I find that I have this dream more often when I am in a financially or personally restrictive time in my life. Others who have this dream may interpret it in an entirely different light. If they found their high school years to be personally enriching and socially affluent, they may have this dream in times when their lives and relationships are going well.

Sex and being naked

We have all had this one. Having sex with a friend, your boss, your mother, past and/or present and/or future lover – you name the person, people dream of having sex with them. Think about what sex is. Yes, having sex normally reflects a mutual intimacy between two people. However, it can also be an act of dominance or power over someone. Some even associate sex with pain. Combine your meaning with the person you dreamed having sex with and you can come up with all sorts of conscious parallel meaning. Personally I have never dreamed about having sex with my mother or boss (ewww.) My sex dreams always are with past, current, or desired lovers. More important to my personal interpretation however, is the fact that when I am feeling overly stressed, limited, restricted, I don’t have sex dreams at all. It is in a time when I have hope and high self esteem that my dreams become sexual. Apparently for me, sex is about confidence.

Suddenly lose your clothes during your dream? You are not alone. This is a common one usually meaning that you are afraid of having something exposed, insecurity or low confidence. It can also reflect on the anxiety you are experiencing about an upcoming meeting, doctor’s appointment, presentation, or performance. Not many get naked in their dreams and like it. For the ones who do it can reflect a bit of a narcissistic need for attention, to stand out in a crowd, or a need to be noticed by work colleagues or a recent romantic interest.

The Price is Right

So what does this all have to do with dreaming about being on the Price is Right Show? I have not seen this show, let alone thought about it since I was a teenager. Bob Barker was a young man back then (and that is the age he was in my dream.)

What does this all mean?

It has been a few days since I had this dream and I have used this time to reflect on it. My belief is that this dream mirrors the doubts I have been having lately about pursuing some big dreams of mine. Maybe I am wondering if the cost is worth it. Is the price right?

It is natural to have doubts. It is normal to lose some self-esteem – confidence – as you challenge yourself with change. But what is the alternative? For me, compromising is not an option. “What do you bid Steve?”  Bob, I am not going to make a bid because what I am doing – what I am going after – is priceless.

As for being naked? If people can’t respect me for the challenge I have put before myself, then they need to step aside and let me pass. I have no shame in what I have started. I have no regret in the hard work I have done and am doing to get there. I have no remorse in what I have left behind. I have put myself out there. I have exposed myself and it feels wonderful.

The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become – Charles Du Bos

Resources:

Recurring Dreams and Their Meanings – Dr. Michael J. Breus

How do you perceive your world? October 23, 2009

Posted by jassnight in Uncategorized.
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From which lens do you see from?

From which lens do you see from?

In my last blog entry, I touched a bit on life-perception and influence. Today, I thought I would go into greater depth on this topic.

Without going into a full lecture of meta-theoretical perspectives and the paradigms involving epistemology (the way people learn) and axiology (the way people perceive their world,) let me just state that people will perceive their reality through two possible lenses.  These lenses are either interpretivism or behaviorism and there is a big difference between the two. Behaviorists believe that their world perception and learning is determined by a slow progression of awareness of a pre-determined existence – objective awareness.  It is the well-known Forrest Gump paradox: “Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.” Interpretivists believe that their life perception is shaped by previous experience and influentials (such as parents, peers, teachers, and religious leaders.) They “interpret” their existence through these parameters – subjective awareness.

The argument is this; is there only one, external reality that can only become aware to us by growth in perception (Behaviorist viewpoint)? Or, are there multiple realities that are conceived internally through individual interpretation of external events and connections (Interpretivists).

There are arguments for both of course, but think about this. If we were all destined to believe that there is only one reality, wouldn’t we all be voting for the same candidate in an election? Wouldn’t we like all the same foods? Wouldn’t we all drive the same cars?

While I was a student during my last degree work, I was on a research team. One of our discussions centered around which type of research tool to use to capture information. Being an interpretivist, I argued that a qualitative tool would best serve our needs. My colleague, a behaviorist, saw a quantitative tool as being more effective.  One day I finally said to him, “just the fact that we have two different viewpoints about this subject suggests that reality is subjective and not objective.” He had no choice but to agree with that statement.

How do you perceive your world?